Bad Daze
A bad day for me is so much more internal than external. It's not that I've been dealt a bad hand. It's that I just can't read the cards.
You ever just wake up in a fog? Where the inside of your head feels like the air above Beijing. Your thoughts are stumbling around with surgical masks on, eyes squinted. Where life feels like work and work feels like hell.
I wonder if humans have always had these days. Did ancient hunters wake up in this state thinking "I ain't catching shit today. Today, I'm the first vegan."
Did knights have days where they put their chain mail on backwards? Where they swore someone replaced their sword with a replica 10 lbs heavier?
Did captains of great ships exploring undiscovered lands have days where they just couldn't stop confusing east and west?
I suspect they all did. I suspect phoning it in existed long before phones. But these days don't get recorded in history because nobody feels like writing on these days. The number of blank pages stared at though, are too many to count.
These days you just have to give yourself credit for showing up. Inhale. Exhale. You did it! That's another small victory. You're not gonna change the world, just be content to keep it the same. Maybe you just need a bit more coffee? Don't fall into that trap. Sure, on a good day coffee brings comfort and stimulation. On a bad day it's a brown fluid specifically engineered to burn tongues and stain pants.
But keep putting one foot in front of the other. Remember, it's "foot" not "hand." And remember it's "in front" not, "behind." These are the kinds of obvious reminders a brain will need on a bad day. Lower your expectations. Don't leave the bar up high, where it was set from a prior good day. And don't leave the bar until you've forgotten all about this miserable day. And try not to get too far from the bar before realizing you left your debit card and forgot to close your tab.